Creative Answers to Science Questions:
1."When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
2."H20 is hot water, and C02 is cold water."
3."When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
4. "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
5."Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
6."The largest organ in the human body is the head."
7."Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, then expectoration."
8."Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
9."A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
10."The pistolof a flower is its only protections against insects."
11."Germinate means to become a naturalized German."
12."A planet is a body of Earth surrounded by sky."
13."A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
14."To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in."
15."The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation."
16."Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about."
17."We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and the study of rocks."
18."English sparrows and starlings eat the farmer's grain and soil his corpse."
19."People shouldn't be allowed to shoot extinct animals."
20. "If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence."
21."A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle."
Further weird things:
22."Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose." (A sign in a Swiss hotel).
23."Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." (A sign in a laundry in Rome).
24."Members and non-members only." (A sign outside Mexico City's Mandinga Disco in the Hotel Emporio).
25."Shower of Happiness. Total Safety Guaranteed." (A label on an electric shower (to heat cold water) in Thailand).
26."Do not spit here and there." (A sign in Calcutta, India).
27."Commit No Nuisance." (A sign in Calcutta, India).
28."Dresses for Streetwalkers." (A junk mail ad in Germany).
29."Don't get into this." (A sign in Japan with the universal "do not enter" symbol).
30."Please leave your values at the front desk." (A sign in a Paris hotel).
31."Warning: Do not leave it in this place which may have a high temperature such as the car closed." (Instructions for a CD adapter for a car's tape player).
32."Dah Wong Path." (A sign for a park path in Hong Kong).
33."Caution Water on Road During Rain" (A sign in Malaysia).
34."Our staffs are always here waiting for you to patronize them." (From an advertisement for a hotel in Tokyo).
35."Please waste." (Signs on trash cans in an amusement park in Osaka, Japan).
36."Colorful dining space surrounded by stained glasses." (From an advertisement for a restaurant in Tokyo).
37."You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." (A sign in a Japanese hotel).
38."The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid." (A sign in a Yugoslavian hotel).
39."Specialist in women and other diseases." (A sign outside of Roman doctor's office).
40."Please take one step and crap twice." (A sign in a temple in China).
41. "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists." (From an advertisement by a dentist in Hong Kong).
42."Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar." (A sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge).
43."The manager has personally passed all the water served here." (A sign in a Acapulco hotel).
44."Take one of our horse driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages." (A sign in Czechoslovakian tourist agency).
45."We take your bags and send them in all directions." (A sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office).
46."Stop. Drive sideways." (A detour sign in Japan).
47."In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter." (A sign in a Vienna hotel).
48."Here speeching American." (A sign in a Majorcan shop entrance).
(Other funny language examples in earlier posts by Lisa Speer)